SECOND chance...

ketika bertemu dan berusaha membicarakannya dengan nada tenang , berusaha tak membuka atau bahkan mengolok luka lama kita yang bahkan tak kunjung sembuh...

......

setelah semalemnya gue dengerin lagu GLEE-get it right (http://liriklyric.com/glee-cast-get-it-right.html)

 sampe mata belo gue bengkak segede telor onta arab.. gue melanjutkan nangis dlm mimpi karena barca kalah 1-0 sama madrid !!! bangs*t tuh christian ronaldo !! wasit nya rabun !!.. *makin emosi*

udah ahh bias.. pokoknya pas dengerin lagu itu ampe puluhann kali !! gue smsan sama si B dan kita kehanyut suasana..menggalau bersama deh =)) ahahhahaaa...

mengulang kenapa kalo dia sayang sama gue dia sering nyuekin gue ??

kenapa kalo dia sayang sama gue dia bisa ngelepasin gue gitu aja ??

kenapa harus kita putus meski rasa sayang ini masih ada , melekat..

i know its so hard to explain but this is the true , we still love each other even im so hurt because of him..

i glad to know he still love me, anyway...

and finaly we make an appoitment to meet , on thursday , 21 april 2011 in the afternoon..

my heart so beating..

for the first time until we broke up, i can see his face again, really close until i can smell his parfume..

breath that and fill my chest with all about him.. DAMN !!!

(melloww ager-ager deh)...

...

akhirnyaa gue pun pergi sm dia , menemani dia makan sih ceritanya (kamuflase)..

dan kita pun serasa balik ke masa dua bulan yang lalu..

kita ngerasa pacaran lagi even nyatanya kita bukan apa-apa sekarang ini !

gue berusaha realistis , menyikapi status mantan yang terpampang di jidat kita masin-masing..

tapi untung kita gak saling lempar-lemparan gelas yaa di mbak sri , hahahaa...

dan yang bikin gue terenyuh , adalah lo bilang "ga bisakah gue dapetin kesempatan kedua dari lo ?"

selama ini lo kemana B ???

kemana sikap manusiawi lo !!!!

apa baru sekarang ego lo ilang gitu aja kaya bisul yang akirnya pecah ?? hahaha.. *bego akh lo gy*..

haduh B ! bisaa kurus gue mikirin sikap lo yang aneh bin ajaib :(

dan gue cuma blg "setiap orang berhak dapet kesempatan kedua , tergantung gmn cara lo ngebuktiin ke gue dan ngerubah sikap lo"...

...

and in the fact , i know im still love you B , and how many time i take to forget u its doesn't work...
but please B if i give you a second chance to get back my heart , please don't hurt that anymore...

should i feel like a broken hearted girl ??

What have I done?
I wish I could run,
away from this ship going under
just trying to help out everyone else
now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders

what can you do when your good isn’t good enough
and all that you touch tumbles down?
cause my best intentions
keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
but how many times will it take?
oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?

can I start again, with my fate again?
cause I can’t go back and endure this
I just have to stay and face mistakes,
but if I get stronger and wiser, I’ll get through this

what can you do when you’re good isn’t good enough?
and all that you touch tumbles down?
cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
but how many times will it take?
oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?

so I throw up my fists, throw a punch in the air,
and accept the truth that sometimes life isn’t fair!
yeah, I’ll send down a wish and I’ll send up a prayer
and finally someone will see how much I care

what can you do when you’re good isn’t good enough?
and all that you touch tumbles down?
cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
but how many times will it take?
oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?

im just try to move on (even)...

bermula saat gue ngintilin mbak willa ke gramedia , dan kami pun berubah jadi AUTISMAN..

ngubek semua novel , buku buat literatur skripsi mbak willa , fancy stationary , map yang unyu-unyu , sampe digodain mas-mas karena kita pake PDH PMI..wakakakkk

sebenernya gue rada jengah ke gramedia matraman , karena pas hub gue baik2 aja sama si B , itu jd tmpt kami berdua..dan itu spesial..huaaaa

gue selalu berusaha setiap hari buat MOVE on !! seperti yg sodara2 gue bilang selalu , 

"lo ga akan menemukan orang lain gy , kalo yang ada dipikiran lo cuma B !!"...

gue emg masih dlm tahap recovery , gue menunggu itu dalam setiap hari gue , dan entah gmn masa recovery gue itu terasa ke-RESTART ulang pas dia lewat....melewati gue gt aja dengan senyumnya bahkan sering dengan diamnya..gue cm kerasa sedih , sedih knp harus berakhir dengan gak wajar , sedih knp kalo kita saling sayang dia gamau mempertahankan gue , sedih setiap inget dia yang selalu blg sayang sama gue sampe kapanpun..tapi nyatanya begitu terus sikapnya... *arghh , kumat deh galaunya gue*

wahai mantanku , my dearest B , my firstman to make me learned about the patience !

please , just leave me alone , really stay away from my heart , go away from my life , don't say our lovely name when we belong together , please just be disappear , fly away like dust !! and if someday we meet again , meet me like a new person , like a stranger !! and we don't need to say anything , just walk away..

when you said like that.........my world falling to pieces !!

siang terik tadi sepulang gue les , gue mendapati rumah gue senyap.. mami ga ada sama papap.. sedang kompak rupanya ngurus kerjaan dus :)

gue pun langsung sibuk membenamkan diri dalam PC purbakala gue (baca:jadul) sampe gue pun menemukan salah satu BUKTI nyata , kalo my dearest ex jerk itu sudah move on..

bagus sih , tapi entah kenapa lagi masih ada yang sakit di hati gue dan gue gatau di bagian mananya :(

cuma terasa sesak dan gue pun sangsi gue masih bs napas :((

aahh.. taulahh..

dia bilang dia udah bisa ikhlasin gue , good for you B :) im glad to know that.. find someone else better than me..

jam 7pm : diaaa nge chat gue dgn ringan dan selow "hey G"...

lelaki emg gaa punya hatii !!! :((

tertohok *but i'm in girl version :D

The Script – The Man Who Can’t Be Moved

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,

Gonna camp in my sleeping bag. I’m not gonna move,
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am,
Some try to hand me money they don’t understand,
I’m not… broke I’m just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I’ve been in love with you…

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you’d come back here to the place that we’d meet,
And you’d see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I’m not moving…
I’m not moving.

Policeman says son you can’t stay here,
I said there’s someone I’m waiting for if it’s a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you’d come back here to the place that we’d meet,
And you’d see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I’m not moving…
I’m not moving.

I’m not moving…
I’m not moving.

People talk about the guy
Whos waiting on a girl…
Oohoohwoo
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world…
Hmmmm

Maybe I’ll get famous as man who can’t be moved,
And maybe you won’t mean to but you’ll see me on the news,
And you’ll come running to the corner…
Cos you’ll know it’s just for you

I’m the man who can’t be moved
I’m the man who can’t be moved…

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you’d come back here to the place that we’d meet,
And you’d see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I’m not moving…
I’m not moving.

I’m not moving…
I’m not moving.

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag not I’m not gonna move.

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siang terik membuat galau !!
entah gimana gue putus sama doi tapi PATAH HATINYA sama yang lain ! wakakkakakk...

really miss his lips touch mine and how's sweet that when i close my eyes :)

tapi willa bilang itu orang hanyalah sederatan dari cowo2 brengsek yang ga perlu di jelasin apa alasannya.. yeahhh , ga mantan gak gebetan baru !! jerk ! but i'm so curious , fuffufuuuu...
siang ini gue online dan melihat dia sedang online juga ! pengen nyapa tapi malu , penegn diem aja tapi kangen !! pas buka FB nya gue baru engeh ! dia sudah ada pacar !! what a stupid girl ! gue aturan move on sama yang much better than B , and i think L can be that ! but in the fact , after he kiss me he just left me.. and just say : "our kissing is a mistake".....
i'm absolutely shocked but i'm not cry , just keep in my faith someday he'll be miss me and try to find me :)

should i feel like a broken hearted girl ??

sampai jatuh sakit..

kaya orang linglung..

well , gue yakin bukan penyakitnya yg bikin gue gini :)

cuma karena hati gue aja yg agak sakit , hati gue masih ga percaya , buat pertamakalinya gue dicampakan !! damn , what a structure :))

dan ternyata lo udah move on , sangat cepat seakan ga ada apa2 sama kita !! yeaah emg iya sih.. harusnya gue ga perlu ngerasa kehilangan lo , karena selama dua bulan ini juga gue di acuhin mulu sm lo :((

bahkan banyak orang yg ngomong : dek kok pulangnya lebih sering sama abang kamu ketimbang sama pacar kamu ??

.. dan gue cuma bisa nyengir

mungkin lo cm numpang tenar macarin gue , hahaha bukan berarti gue ngerasa eksis yaa.. tapi kan hebat tuh bisa macarin cewe trus ditinggalin gitu ajaa !! sumpah otak lo tuh ditaro dmn ?!! di dengkul lo apa di rambut lo yang gondrong gajelas !!